I’ve been doing some very deep soul searching work, as well as investing time and money into creating a new program for women facing 50. (Stay tuned, It’s really exciting stuff!) This process is bringing up a lot of feelings for me, especially around my own fear of failure and of being seen. I was reminded of this great story that I wrote a few years ago in a newsletter, so here it is:
In the span of time it took for a traffic light to cycle through, my teacher Ana Forrest asked me a question that brought me to tears. I was driving, and our conversation turned to my shyness of speaking in front of big groups or teaching in front of my peers or my teacher, Ana, herself. Ana asked if I could “talk to the Shy One and have her step aside while the Leader stepped forward to run things.” She then suggested that I calm the Shy One who doesn’t have the tools that the Leader does.
Now this is a lot of information to process while waiting for the light to turn green. I teared up because the wisdom was so right on. I felt my heart quicken. My teacher was Seeing me, all of me, and acknowledging my ability and skill as well as what holds me back.
The light turned, and we started looking for parking. Ana said, “How old is your Shy One?” and effectively turned on the tear faucet. Through the tears of resonance, of being seen and accepted, I found the parking spot – both literally and figuratively. I have a space, safely out of the way of my goals, to park my fear of failure and of not being enough.
This is just a taste of what happens when I spend time with my teacher, Ana. I will again be Lead Assistant for the Forrest Yoga Foundation Teacher Training next year in May 2018. I expect to have breakthroughs daily – even in the span of a traffic light or a downward dog.